teach me Your paths

to You, o Lord, i lift up my soul
o my God, in You i trust
make me to know Your ways
teach me Your paths
lead me in Your truth
i will follow You

lift up You hands
open up the gates
be lifted high
o Ancient of days
lift up You hands
open up the gates
be lifted high
come into this place God

psalm 24 and 25 (read em)

my mind is a forest

if you look closely you will see
there are bugs within the roots of me
my mind is a forest
my forest is infested with bugs and swarms
but if they left me could i endure
might it be if i could lure
these things so vial and full of despair
out of my forest and out of my core

the termites leave me with holes
the damage isn't just surface
holes so deep no use for a bandage
if i remove them there's still hope for me

the beetles those little guys
all i can do is sit here and cry
while they chip away at my outer shell
and get to my core where they choose to dwell
they ruin my growth and set me back
if only i had something to go on the attack

i'm not only trees
these bugs exist so His glory prevails
it's not about how clean i get
it's about learning from what i have

the bugs are gone and now just compost
now is the time where i flourish the most
with these bugs and things of the past
i can grow stronger than a hardened cast

looking back at the struggles i've had
the termites were rough
and the beetles were bad
but i wouldn't settle for anything less

i've grown so strong that it would be a waste
to not share what i know
instead of choosing to just sit and wait
for the next batch of beetles
or even a bigger swarm

now i've allowed Him into to my center
the beetles seem smaller
and the swarms just litter
He moves in me and allows me to grow
my mind is a forest
and i give Him control

commitment

not about looks
not about feelings
not about who she could be
not about what i need
commitment

nothing to do with talents
nothing to do with gifts
nothing to do with money
nothing to do with deeds
commitment

in five years
in ten years
in twenty years
in eighty years
commitment

despite flaws
despite let downs
despite failures
despite conditions
commitment

-our example of love and commitment is this

"but God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."-romans 5:8

as Christ loves me so shall i love her... whenever that might be...eventually... maybe...hopefully... someday... in the future...

timmy boy

stick to the Word.
love no matter the circumstances.
sanctify in scripture so you can be-
certain of what you are teaching.
for those that have accepted Christ-
the law no longer applies-
because God's heart is love-
and the law is fulfilled through love-
even though the law doesn't apply-
children of Christ will change-
and want to follow the law.
God's mercy is unfathomable.
you can trust that Christ-
came and died for all sinners-
which i am one of the worst-
but He died for you and i and-
has made us righteous.
don't neglect your gifts-
God has given you them-
for a reason don't keep-
them for your own.

in Christ,
paul

irony

twenty-four hours in a day...
and struggling to find a minute

late night

late night
bike rides
social times
abandoned lots
swimming pools
new friends
old renewed
smiles around

new creation

pride is something that holds on to me (or i have held onto for a long time now) but galatians 5:25-26 says in the message translation, "Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original." recognizing that my life is not my own but is only God's to use for His glory has been huge.

i was a model and actor in my mid to late teen years and as a result i grew in my ability to make myself look better and feel better than everyone else. if there was a way to view myself as better than someone, i did. i was in the top of my class in modeling and was on my way to a career full of selfish, arrogant, conceded thoughts and actions. by the grace of God He had/has captured my heart and over the past couple of years has taught me that i am nothing, my accomplishments mean nothing, my achievements while at the time were huge still mean nothing and have no eternal effect, but God is the one who has granted these things to me and on my own will i would have never accomplished anything but hate, lust, sin, and death. growing up God has allowed things in my life to happen in order to mold me and make me into His creation, He has used the skills and strengths that i have developed growing up to make me into the man i am becoming. patient, loving, humble, a servant, and a hard worker. though these areas are minuscule in comparison to Christ's example, He is working in my heart and is calling me to listen to what He has to say.

a life with Christ is what i desire. He remains faithful even when i am not. my life is nothing apart from Christ, my accomplishments mean nothing apart from Christ, apart from Christ i am nothing, in Christ i am a new creation, something eternal.